School balls to be specific. I don’t know about other places in the world but in my neck of the woods all the way down here in a little town in Western Australia, school balls are typically held at the beginning of the year. The excuse for this is so girls aren’t acting like hummingbirds on Red Bull trying to find a dress at the same time as end-of-year exams, which is fair I suppose, though it did seem to just do away with the whole magic of your senior school ball.

My school ball happened all the way back in 2007. I didn’t really want to go. I wasn’t a particularly sociable person back then (though I don’t suppose I really am now, either…) and I think I went in the end mostly to appease my mother. I did the whole bit. I had a really pretty red dress (I looked high and low for a midnight blue dress but, alas, found none), I got my hair cut and coloured, got makeup done despite the fact that I had never worn anything more than concealer up until that point. I even went a bought jewellery from some silly little shop called Diva (mortifying…)

I’m not sure what I expected from this ball, and forgive any wrongful Cinderella-esque notions I have of such an event, but are balls supposed to be held in tiny, dark rooms that realistically can’t hold more than 50 people, let alone accommodate the 200 or so that actually showed up? Is the music normally loud and obnoxious? Are strobe lights obligatory? SINCE FRICKIN’ WHEN DOES A SENIOR SCHOOL FORMAL LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN RAVE???

This is likely me being nit-picky, I just wish the stupid thing was called what it is! To call something a ball does evoke a somewhat ‘Disney’ s0rt of response in me, you know, dancing in an actual ball room (Prince Charming optional) and for the evening to be… you know… pleasant!  Instead I had a headache from the explosion of perfumes and sweat in the room and the stupid *thump thump* music the DJ kept shoving down our throats! Most likely, this is my hermit attitude coming back to haunt me, but I don’t think you can throw 200 well dressed people into a loud, dark, smelly room and call it a ball. It’s a weird formal dress night club.



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